There is a great quote from artist Michelangelo that goes,
“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it.”
This low aiming is precisely what we’re doing to our young people when we teach them “abstinence, but…” education. By “abstinence, but…” education, I mean the so-called “comprehensive sex education” which tells our young people that, yes abstinence is the only 100% effective means of avoiding pregnancy and STDs, but…you can’t be expected to control your hormones so now let’s learn all about using condoms and birth control so that you can be “safe” when you inevitably give in to your lust. What low expectations we have for our youth! We are seriously failing our children if this is the best we can do.
How can we take such a permissive approach to something that can potentially have serious life altering and even life ending consequences? Do you realize that with the expanded availability of contraception and acceptance of promiscuous sexual behavior we have seen the number of known STDs rise from only 2 significant diseases in the 1970s to more than 25 today? And can we honestly say that teenage pregnancy and abortions have gone down significantly in the last 40 years either? The answer is no and it’s not because our young people need more education on so-called “safe” ways to engage in immoral sexual behavior.
Are we as permissive with other things that can cause our children serious harm or drastically alter their lives? Do we tell them that abstaining from heroin is the only 100% effective way to ensure that you don’t overdose, but you can’t be expected to control your desire to shoot up, so here’s a clean needle and a safe measure of the drug? Now, we have to be careful here, of course, because unlike heroin or other drugs, sexual intercourse is not bad in and of itself. And we certainly do not want our young people to think that! It must never be our aim to scare kids into chastity or abstinence. But sex can become like a deadly drug when it is engaged in outside its proper meaning and context – contraceptives be damned.
Weather permitting, I will be attending a seminar on the Theology of the Body for Teens this weekend. TOB for Teens is a program designed to give teens an authentic understanding of human sexuality. It encourages them to see and love with a pure heart and calls them to something higher and greater than what the world would have them settle for. Supposed “failure” should never deter us from this important task. After all, how can we ever encourage them to aspire to greatness or practice self-control in other areas when we constantly tell them it’s not possible in this most vital and intimate part of their lives?
TOB for Teens overview: