No, it’s not a miracle. Just the latest example of what a bass-ackwards, freaky-deaky world we live in.

Trent Arsenault is currently being investigated by the FDA for running a private, one-man, unregulated sperm bank from his home. On Anderson Cooper’s syndicated television show last week, Arsenault revealed that, not only has he fathered 14 children (with four on the way) through his generous sperm donation, he’s done so while remaining a virgin.

As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, Arsenault told Anderson that he considers himself to be “donor sexual”? What.the.hell, you say? Yeah, me too. “I coined this term ‘donor sexual,’ Arsenault said. “[I]t means 100 per cent of my sexual energy is for producing sperm for childless couples to have babies. So I don’t have other activity outside of that.” He says that he does not have intercourse in order to keep his sperm free from sexually transmitted diseases – “organic”, he calls it – and he predicts that he will “probably be the 40 year-old-virgin. Except I’ll have 15+ kids.” Even Cooper found this rather strange and told his audience, who applauded this line, that he wasn’t sure applause was the correct response to such an statement.

Still not weird enough for you? Apparently, this guy also uploads explicit videos of himself…er…”collecting his sperm” (if ya know what I mean) onto a popular amateur porn website…and that’s how some of his “clients” have found him.

See? Freaky-deaky, right??

“Yes, but look at all the good he’s doing helping build families,” you say. Please. Sperm donor daddies, anonymous or not, are no great service to humanity. Manufacturing life in this way is an affront to the very dignity of the children, who certainly aren’t alright with it themselves.