This woman is scheduled to have an abortion on Tues. March 27 and is having what she calls a “meltdown.” She fully realizes that she is ending her child’s life, but doesn’t see any other option. Further down she responds to another woman’s comments about giving the child up for adoption and she says that she has already thought of that and knows that she wouldn’t be able to give birth and give her child away to another person. To make matters worse the Catholic father agrees with her decision. I will post some of what she wrote below. Please keep her in your prayers for the next week:
My feelings of guilt and shame are overwhelming. I can’t bear to face friends/co-workers/ family right now because I feel like a fraud. I feel that if they knew about the scheduled abortion, they would lose all respect for me. The night before last, I had dinner with my mom (wanted to cancel but couldn’t). I couldn’t look her in the eye because I was so certain she would see right through me and tell me what a horribly selfish person I’m being. I feel like a terrible disappointment as a daughter.
I have no one I can confide in except for MB [the father] but I’m also sensitive to the fact that he is dealing with his own feelings and I don’t want to burden him. I’m sure that when this is resolved, he and I will lead our respective lives and our current friendship, which is so precious to me, will come to an end. To be honest, I think that’s actually my preference as looking in his eyes will be a constant reminder of what we have done. However that’s the least of my worries right now – I’ll deal with that when the time comes.
I don’t for a second doubt my decision – I just don’t know how to handle the feelings inside. I can’t stop crying and I want to lash out and scream and vent. I know that won’t solve the problem – I just don’t know how else to cope. My conscience is killing me and I’m trying to reconcile the fact that there is a life growing inside of me and I’m making the decision to end it. Who am I to play God and will I ever be forgiven?? Do I even deserve forgiveness?? The pain I’m feeling is overwhelming and I can’t help but believe that it’s God’s punishment for me and that I deserve to suffer for my actions.
Read the whole post
HT: JivinJehoshaphat
2 Comments on “Pray For This Woman!!!”
If this woman thinks her feelings of guilt and shame are overwhelming now just wait. I had an abortion 10 years ago, and not a day goes by that I am not haunted by what I done. I was a scared 19 year old girl who came from a very strict christian background and I knew what I was doing was wrong, yet I went thru with it anyway out of fear. Now I am a grown woman that longs every day to be a mother, a mother I may never be. I long to have the child back that I let go. I dream of him, think of where he would be in life and what he would look like. I know God has forgiven me but after all these years I can’t seem to forgive myself. The pain and guilt I still carry after 10 years, I feel I will always carry with me. I urge this woman to make a different choice and not live with the agony I have lived with. God will make a way, if she will just trust in him.