This is great! In the bulletin for St. Lambert’s parish in Skokie, IL, the Rev. Know-it-All (aka the parish’s pastor, Fr. Richard T. Simon) responds to a woman who inquired “I visited your church once and am thinking about having my wedding there. How long is your main aisle?”

I am often asked that question, and never quite understand it. Are brides curious about the length of the aisle because they think a longer aisle may give them a few more minutes to back out of the whole thing? Or, as I suspect, does a long aisle prolong the glorious promenade of which a young girl dreams as she thumbs through bridal magazine as she contemplates her special day, when all eyes focus on her as she approaches her enchanted prince and all the world thinks she’s gorgeous and knows that she has bagged her man just as surely as a Wisconsin bricklayer bags a deer and ties it onto the roof of his pick up truck?…Why is it that weddings cause people to spend so much time, energy and money? And more money.

The average American wedding costs almost $29,000, according to “The Wedding Report”, a market research publication. $29,000!” Oh, by the by, the usual donation to the church is about $200.00. That $200 goes to the church, not to the priest. The usual gift to the priest is a hearty handclasp. The usual cost of the photographer is $2,000.00. All this tells me that the photographs are one hundred times more important than the grace of the sacrament, in most peoples’ estimation. The usual fee for the DJ is $1,500.00. I am consoled by this. It means that painful,occasionally obscene music loud enough to cause brain damage is only 75 times more important than the grace of the sacrament.

You must be thinking why is this guy so down on weddings? I am down on some weddings because I am very “up” on the sacrament of matrimony and really in favor of marriage. That’s why the modern method of marrying and the wedding industry make me crazy. They militate against marriage.

Here is the heart of my complaint. IT IS STUPID TO SPEND MORE TIME AND MONEY PREPARING FOR THE WEDDING THAN YOU DO PREPARING FOR THE MARRIAGE!!! I have known people who are still paying the credit card bills generated by the wedding years after the marriage is over.

Read the rest as Rev. Know-it-All describes the “modern method of marrying” as he has experienced it over the years.

I can’t imagine how frustrating it is for priests these days to try to prepare a couple for the Sacrament of Matrimony while they are preoccupied with other preparations for the wedding day festivities (guest lists, invitations, decorations, clothing, food, music, etc…). It’s not that these things aren’t at all important. But for the modern couple, who likely do not attend Mass regularly and have been ignoring the Church’s teaching on premarital sex, contraception and cohabitation, understanding the seriousness of the covenant they are about to make and the graces it bestows is less of a priority than, say, making sure the wedding party looks good.

When a good friend of mine was getting married a few years ago she said they chose the shortest marriage prep. classes offered in order to “get it over with” as quick as possible. She also asked me if they “had to tell Father we’ve had (and probably were still having) sex.” Another good friend of mine got married in the Church and chose to have the shorter, non-Mass, wedding ceremony because it was easier and they didn’t want to inconvenience their friends/family members who would bring small children. This, despite the fact that the bride and groom and their families were all Catholic. Knowing what I know now about what marriage is meant to symbolize, I can’t imagine a Catholic wedding without the “Sacrament of the Bridegroom and the Bride.”

Has defying Church teaching worked out well so far in your marriage or someone’s you know? In perhaps an even bolder column, Rev. Know-it-All further explains how the “modern method of marrying” has created “moral and spiritual pollution.”

(h/t Fumare)