Oh geez. I don’t know if it’s just because it’s that time of the month for me to be a little overly emotional or the fact that I’m about to enter the last year of my twenties still single and childless – something I never thought I’d be “this far down the line” – but this article from Matt Archbold just had me in tears. Especially this line:
in life I maybe have made only two good decisions and one of them was marrying my wife and the other was having children. And it seems to me that if you make those two decisions right, a whole lot of the little decisions just seem to get worked out.
Read the rest and don’t be too long in making those good decisions. Obviously no one should rush into marriage, and I’m not suggesting that everyone should marry young, but do be aware of the fact that the window of opportunity for starting a family is not open indefinitely. When you find someone with whom you are comfortable who has many of the attributes you would like in a spouse do not hesitate to move forward, to make time to delve into the mystery of the other and love them…from this day forward until death do us part. If married life is your calling, don’t waste time making the perfect (or distance or finances or a “busy” schedule) the enemy of a good, suitable partner and opportunity for a solid Marriage than can make you and your spouse better people.
At the same time, don’t despair when things don’t seem to go as you hoped they would. In the mean time: pray. Pray to find the right spouse. Pray for your future spouse, and (most importantly) pray for union with God (our ultimate lover) in order to grow in virtue so that you become the kind of person that someone else wants to marry. As in all things, proceed in a spirit of openness to God’s will – not your own – while also never being afraid to take some chances.
If time were mere gold you could perhaps afford to squander it. But time is life, and you don’t know how much you have left. -St. Josemaria, Furrow #963
2 Comments on “Don’t Be Too Long in Making Those Good Decisions”
Hi! I’m a new reader (and I’ve added you to my blog roll), and I love your blog. The depth of your insight and your compassion (not to mention your courage in gettig out of bed each day despite challenges) feed my soul.
I’m ‘old ‘ in comparison to where youare, but this resonated with me. I was 38 when I married (I’m now 50) and we adopted our daughter via a miracle when I was 43.
I just wanted to offer that as long as God is an on-going participant in your life, he will always work with your choices (good, and those less so) according to His will for you. I’m not sure a ‘calling’ is ever as crystalk clear as we want it to be. I wasn’t ‘waiting for Mr. Right’ or looking for perfection, or even ‘trying to have it all’ I was just doing my best to live my single life as a vocation ‘until’. I had come to believe that I was not going to be called to marriage. It’s as much a mystery to anyone else that marriage found me when it did (and not before).
Something which comforted me always was knowing that God wouldn’t give me the desires of my heart without also providing the means by which to satisfy them.
You understand, Chelsea, the heartbreak I feel every day. Now imagine if everyone around you were to assume that the reason you’re at age X and still unmarried and childless was that you’re out immaturely “playing the field.” That would be salt in the wound, no?