Woman is a wonderful mystery. Often even to herself, she is an enclosed garden, a fountain sealed. When approaching the topic of womanhood, and especially when approaching women, what is most important is to reveal that each woman is, like any wonderful mystery, meant to be accepted, contemplated, cherished, and most importantly, to be loved. This is ultimately what it what is at the heart of being feminine, to be a receiver of love, primarily the love of Jesus Christ. It is He who cries out, “How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!” (Song 4:10). It is he who is pursuing woman, knocking on the heart of each one, daily walking alongside them, encouraging and affirming the mystery that they exist to remind the world that it exists primarily for God, to be loved by him and thus to become his beloved.

You are an enclosed garden, my sister, my bride,
an enclosed garden, a fountain sealed. – Song of Songs 4:12

This metaphor, says JP II, “expresses the whole personal dignity of the sex.” It indicates the woman’s “personal structure of self possession.”

The bride presents herself to the eyes of the man as the master of her own mystery. (TOB 110:7)

Part of this mystery, though I’m not sure that JP II specifically address, is stamped right into our very bodies in the “veiling” of our sexual organs – an indication of something sacred, set apart by God. It is inside the female body that God chose to continue His work of creating new, unique human souls. This should fill us with an overwhelming sense of awe and prompt us to have a “trembling reverence” in front of such a mystery!! How sad that, instead, Fr. Medley recalls, we live in a world in which the woman is, like no other time in history, is “more denigrated and objectified through the improper use of modern media, magazines, internet porn, and a role of women promoted in society that is not at all feminine or worthy of the beautiful mystery of woman.”

Notice that the woman in the Song of Songs does not open herself up to just any man, but only the one who would vow to commit his entire life to her, to set her as a “seal upon his heart” (SOS 8:6) and assure her that his love will be a love “as strong as death” (ibid) She does not settle for a man who lusts after her body, but one who is so captivated by her entire mystery as woman, who loves her genuinely, first as sister (for we are all brothers and sisters in Christ) and then wife and then offers himself as a free gift to her. This is the only kind of man worthy to behold such a mystery. This is the only kind of man that all women should hold out for and the kind of man that we should encourage all of our brothers to be by being guardians of our own purity, masters of our own mystery.

“When women are pure, men will respect, nay, venerate them; they will also hear the call challenging them to chastity.” (Alice von Hildebrand, The Privilege of Being a Woman p. 90)

Read more of Father’s beautiful affirmation of of the mystery and dignity of woman, which especially includes her unique ability to freely give and receive love.

Previous posts:
Sacred Femininity
Feminine Receptivity
TOB Tuesdays

Love and Responsibility from Anteroom Pictures on Vimeo.

TOB Tuesdays

Remember the older Hollywood love scenes?

A man and woman are wrapped in each other’s arms in front of gently billowing curtains and moonlight as they tenderly and lovingly kiss and caress each other–beautiful music playing in the background–for what seems like hours of intimate bliss.

Today, we might laugh at such a romanticized picture of lovemaking and object that the reality is much different. We might note that in real life sex is less graceful, more sweaty, and seemingly related more to the animal than the angelic.

Of course, humans share with animals the same mechanics of sex. In that respect it’s true that those love scenes are not very true to life. But this is taking these scenes too literally. They express an intuition about sex that is not only true, but is in danger of being lost. And the truth is that…

Sex Really Can be “Making Love”

Those romanticized love scenes are not supposed to be realistic depictions of sex, but metaphors of making love. They turn the lovers inside out so that we don’t get misled by the external details–which obscure the inner truth–but show us the reality of what is being expressed by the lovers.

Read the rest in which he talks about how human sexual relations should always incorporate the interior and the exterior – the spiritual as well as the physical. After all, to use the words of JP II:

[M]an is a person in the unity of his body and his spirit. The body can never be reduced to mere matter: it is a spiritualized body, just as man’s spirit is so closely united to the body that he can be described as an embodied spirit (Letter to Families, n. 19)

Visit Brian’s website: http://nuptialmystery.com.

His article reminds me of my favorite movie “love scene” ever. From Cat on a Hot Tin Roof – so hot, and NO NUDITY:

TOB Tuesday

So I was so pleased to get a notice from the TOB Institute that Christopher will be teaching the final TOB Immersion Course this year! I am in the process of soon lobbying my diocese to help with the cost of attending the TOB Institute at some point in the future. I would love to be able to make it to this course!

Personally, I’ve never had any beef with West’s presentation of the TOB. I have read nearly every major criticism of his work and, after 5+ years of reading his books/articles and listening to his talks (three times in person), I’m always left thinking – are we listening to the same man?! It was through Christopher West and the abundant TOB resources he has helped make available to the general public that I even found out about the TOB in the first place and was able to gain at least a most basic understanding of the material and a desire to explore it even further. For that, I am eternally grateful. I pray that his time off has served him well and I look forward to seeing him back in action.

That being said, I am also aware that he is not the be all and end all for trying to understand the first major teaching project of our late Holy Father’s pontificate. As the recent TOB Congress showed, there are many awesome TOB speakers, teachers and enthusiasts, each one with his or her own unique method of communicating. There really is “something for everyone” with regards to how the TOB is presented and if you are interested in learning more about the TOB, but don’t feel like you can yet handle the pope in his own words, I encourage you to look around to find a teacher or an author who is most helpful for you. Besides Ascension Press (and TheologyoftheBody.com), which carries most of Christopher West’s material, Our Father’s Will Communications has an extensive TOB library with speakers and authors like Katherine Zeno, Dr. Phil Mango, Fr. Thomas Loya and others. Catholic FamilyLand has a good selection of TOB material as well, including TOB commentary from Cardinal Francis Arinze. And don’t forget Jason and Chrystalina Evert and the TOB for Teens and Catholic Exchange has a good TOB “Channel” featuring a variety of different TOB columnists.

TOB Tuesdays

“The Theology of the Body is the curriculum for the Culture of Life.”

How true. The widespread acceptance of sexual immorality has dulled many of our other moral sensitivities. Lust has replaced love which has lead to the dehumanizing of men and women as objects of use and the unborn child as an undesirable consequence of a false idea of “sexual freedom” resulting in the acceptance of the murder of this unwanted human life no longer recognized as such. This is why John Paul II said that building a culture of life requires us to also teach others to accept and experience sexuality and love and the whole of life according to their true meaning and in their close interconnection (Evangelium Vitae, n. 97).

Sexuality, love, life. They’re all connected and what John Paul II has done in the TOB is put them in the proper context and show us how that connection is meant to be lived. TOB is more than just “Catholic sex ed”, as some most assuredly see it, a set of rules and regulations for the bedroom. It is a scriptural treatise on the dignity of the human person, body and soul, and what it means to be made in the “image and likeness of God.” In it the pope explains how we rediscover in the words of Christ “the meaning of the whole of existence, the meaning of life” (TOB 46:6).

Help spread this wonderful vision of the human person by sharing the gift of TOB with your friends and loved ones. Better yet, get some materials and start your own TOB study group with friends or church members.

TOB Tuesdays

Unwanted describes not the child but an attitude of some adults toward the child. The real problem isn’t unwanted children, but unwanting adults.

This is the selfishness that fuels the culture of death Men and women “unwanting” of the other if it means they must completely give of themselves, and it’s not just about the “unwanted” unborn children or the sick and the elderly who are a “burden” on society. Think of the marriages and other relationships that fail or fall apart because of clashing egos, for example. True love calls for total self donation. It means wanting the good of the other, even at the cost of the self. This is the meaning of the body. This is what it means to be human:

There is no such thing as unwanted human life. Unwanting men and women…now that’s another story.

“Man…cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself” Gaudium et Spes, 24

Therefore, in all things, let us learn how to daily die to ourselves, trust in the Lord and become true gifts of self to one another, especially the weak and most vulnerable members of our society.

TOB Tuesday

“Tell me how many songs that I must sing before I can see you in your glory, hear your whole entire story, bathe inside your golden, golden sea?” – Trevor Hall
…
How many people do we really know, deep down, to the core, and to the point of practically being able to finish their thoughts for them, predict their actions, read their hearts, swim in their golden, golden sea of experiences? Is it one? Two?

The only soul I can honestly say I know on that intimate, almost spousal level, is… well, my spouse.

As we approach our 7th wedding anniversary (just three weeks away), I’ve been thinking of her more and more. I mean really thinking of her. This whole marriage thing is pretty earth-shattering you know. What a blindingly brilliant thing it is to be able to say to another human being, “Come in….. look around. The place is yours.” What a crazy thing it is to say to another person, (you with all of your sins and weaknesses, they with theirs) “Let’s become One. I give you sovereignty here. I turn over the key. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours, I ask of you, let it be mine.”

I am convinced that God gave us marriage as an aid or a preparation for Something More, Something Big. Namely, HIS entrance into the human heart, and our hearts entrance into the Communion of Saints in Heaven some day. Marriage is a “school of love” and a fertile field where the fruits reach high, “so high that I can almost see eternity” (that’s Anne Murray by the way, not Trevor Hall). But to plant Heaven’s seed you need to dig up that soil, scour those fields, remove the rocks and old roots of selfishness and greed and ego. Marriage is farming the fields.

Please, read the whole thing, it’s just-so-yummy!!

Speaking of Bill: check out his wife’s cd: Songs from a Mommy’s Heart

TOB Tuesdays

Sexual messages are thrust upon us almost everywhere we turn. The sexual content of most television programs are helping to form the morals of the young generation especially. Therefore there are constant themes of making marital infidelity, sex divorced from covenantal relationships, contraception, active homosexuality, lying, theft, and revenge as either morally neutral or morally good. However we know through Sacred Scripture and the teaching authority of the Church that they are contrary to the will of God.

But the mystery of sex is much broader than sexual activity. The Christian mystery is how we strive to live our lives according to our understanding and experiences of God. Because it is a mystery we can never come to the fullest understanding of it on earth. Therefore we can never solve it, but can always dive deeper into the wonderful mystery.

read more

It’s funny that Roberts talks about the immoral sexual behavior that our current culture thrusts in our faces because just yesterday I read a post at the liberal Feministing blog lamenting the abstinence message of popular teenage movies like Twilight and High School Musical and from young singers like Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers. The author even went so far as to say that the abstinence-only side is winning the “culture war!” I think that’s a bit of a stretch, though I would certainly be happy if that was the case!!

See more: TOB Tuesdays

Real chastity has nothing to do with so-called “puritanism,” but is a life-affirming self-mastery in love. Chastity is the fruit of Christ’s gentle education of the heart, which gradually shapes the heart’s desires and feelings into a reflection of true love for others.

TOB Tuesdays

It is appropriate that in our culture we observe “Father’s Day” during the warm weather time of year. This is a time of year when we see fathers doing a lot of outdoor grilling. We see Dad taking the kids camping, coaching baseball and working in the yard. In short, we see fathers and single men doing what the very theology and language of their bodies speaks about—acting upon the environment, engaging the external world.

Read the whole thing

And check out my previous TOB Tuesday post: A Crisis of Fatherhood